Lunch Date with the Producer

You can see things from meditation that would not otherwise be revealed to you

So today I had a lunch with a producer friend of mine where we discussed one of my favorite subjects. Sexual Energy! I am currently reading a book over the subject titled Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia. This book I began reading today and it is definitely introducing me to new things such as instead of having an outward energy-losing orgasm, you may have an inner upward orgasm- resulting in you ending your sexual experience at a peak. Opposed to this you may have sex and experience an energy depletion, which is what I was taught was normal. My experience has always been that a man or woman should feel as if they have lost all of their energy. There is in fact another side to that coin. Back to my conversation with the producer. He thinks that I am totally “weird” and “out there” and I’ve reportedly “eaten too many space cakes”. He is 29, I am 18, and he believes that I am young and confused. He thinks that I am searching when in fact I am in a state of discovery. He thinks that his “age” is validation for wisdom, when they are only physical years.

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I find it so funny & sometimes confusing when I have a conversation with someone who thinks so differently than me. In the past I would get easily frustrated and feel sorry for the other persons narrowmindedness. Now I realize that when I  talk to someone I am only experiencing talking to the mirror of myself. If there is dissonance in the conversation, there is dissonance within me. I know I have some things within me that I am working on developing, but it’s difficult for me to figure out how I get into these conversations. It does not talk much talking to me for anyone to realize that I’m “different”. The average person thinks I’m from Jupiter after talking to me for 10 minutes. My life is lived so differently from most people around me, especially people my age. In fact, I do not know ANYONE who has the same philosophy about life, spirituality, and love that is within 10 years of my age. I connect so much better with people who are 30 and above. This is not because I want to differentiate myself by hanging out with an older crowd, it’s really because this is the way I am. I don’t realize how different I am until I am in the presence of other people. The producer I had lunch with today was really a facet on the diamond that is me. All the people you meet are facets of yourself.

The producer also told me that I dig far too deep (into life, spirituality, and love). “Life is simple”, he says. So I asked him if his life is the way he wanted it to be right now and if he felt the way he wanted to feel right now. He answered no to both questions. I said “Well if life is so simple, why don’t you have everything that you want and feel the way you want to feel?”, and he replied that the situation that he wishes to attain was complicated. So our combined end result is that life is both simple and complicated.

-Kitty Katana